I'm drive I can fine osifer
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize