It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
