We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
