Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
