I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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