don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
