u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
