I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
