I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We talked him into tasing himself.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
