when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Randomize
