College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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