am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
