apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
