I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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