Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
