I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
