I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize