that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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