Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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