hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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