Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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