you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
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