If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
high people should be assigned attendants
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
