I just made out with a guy for $7.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize