Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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