he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
