I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
