I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
