He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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