i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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