My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
