just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
