Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
