I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
