I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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