I don't think brook has ever known best
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
