Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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