i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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