I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
