belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
