I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This is the high leading the old right now
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
