maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
