just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
