Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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