just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
