hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
