This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
