All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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