i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
