I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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