I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
