My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
