I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
