The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
