Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
