Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize