the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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