shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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