I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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