i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
My liver just had a heart attack.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
