im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
