the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
