So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize