so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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