and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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