Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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