I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He passed out mid-signature
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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